69 THINGS I KNOW I KNOW: PART 3 OF 3
Fantasy Dingo
The final chapter - a continuation from Part 2...
47. The Broadstreet Gags will make bunk picks in the first, second, fourth, sixth, ninth, tenth, thirteenth and fifteenth rounds of the draft.
48. By week 7, only two drafted players will remain on the Broadstreet Gags roster.
49. The Broadstreet Gags will never be higher than 11th place all season.
50. The Broadstreet Gags will fall asleep before 10pm on draft night.
51. The Broadstreet Gags will field a team this season featuring at least one Jag, one Brown, and one Chicago Bear.
52. The Broadstreet Gags will panic at the fourth pick and draft a player who will finish the season on their bench at best, on the waiver at worst.
53. The Broadstreet Gags will boast after the draft that they had “the best draft ever” and that they “love their team.”
54. The Broadstreet Gags will get the lowest ranking from Yahoo post-draft.
55. The Broadstreet Gags will remain in last place in the Yahoo power rankings through the entire season.
56. The Broadstreet Gags will be so disappointed by their season that they will consider throwing it all away, going off the grid, and getting a little cabin in the woods down by Big Sur and starting a fruit and vegetable stand by the side of the road.
57. The Broadstreet Gags will have the most disappointing roster to watch on television all season; the franchise owner will be forced to consume game after game of Jacksonville Jaguars, Detroit Lions, Stinky Browns and Chicago Bears football.
58. Kevin White will be a Broadstreet Gag this year. He will be drafted far too high, and will be injured by week 4.
59. Colin Kaepernick will play for the Broadstreet Gags in 2017, despite the fact that he will not be playing for an NFL team.
60. The Broadstreet Gags will buck their trend of not picking a defense and instead will reach for a defense in round 13. It will be the Jacksonville Jaguars defense, and it will be atrocious.
61. The Broadstreet Gags will blame their poor season on everything but their own poor decisions; injuries, schemes, work/life balance, narcolepsy – the list goes on and on.
62. Ronnie Hillman will be on the Gags roster this season.
63. Matt Barkley will be on the Gags roster this season.
64. Brian Hartline will be on the Gags roster this season.
65. Brandon Bolden will be on the Gags roster this season.
66. Cody Latimer will be on the Gags roster this season.
67. The utter stench of the Gags season will waft over the entirety of the Leaders division like radiation from Fukushima, leading to a Legends franchise winning the Dome in 2017…
68. And that franchise will be…
69. The Bodhi Bradsharts. Back to back 2016-2017 champions. Put the champagne on ice and stick the dome up your ass – the trophy is staying in Houston, baby.
Now, with that out of the way...LET’S DRAFT.