On Drafting a December Roster in August

Dez Bryant
Le'Veon Bell
T.Y. Hilton
Doug Baldwin
Jonathan Stewart
Ben Roethlisberger
Duke Johnson Jnr. 
Tyler Eifert
Emmanuel Sanders
Willie Snead
Charles Sims
Justin Tucker
New England Defense
Dak Prescott

Cole Beasley

Does this rag tag bunch of renegades look familiar to you? They should: they're the draft class of the 2016 Thrill League champions, the Bodhi Bradsharts. 

I watched Bradshart closely throughout the entirety of the 2016 draft. I remember him well: he was sitting on a long, curved, beige leather couch in the upstairs living room of a Jacksonville Beach VRBO house made entirely of plasterboard and broken dreams. He wore a yellow tank top, a tank top we all wore that day. 

I remember guffawing at a couple of the pics (specifically Doug Baldwin and Dak Prescott, feeling they were reaches), but I knew that the Bradsharts had walked away from the draft with a solid start to the season. As always, the year would be shaped by injuries and trades, hopes and dreams; but the goal to a draft is not to win the league. It's to not lose it. 

I remember looking over to Bradshart, sitting on the couch, his long, dark, wavy hair lightly touching the back of the chair as he sipped on a Busch Light and laughed at some of the light banter flying around the room. He looked so lithe, like a little forest nymph or a little toad, even, sitting there, perched up, sipping on that Busch Light with his lips pursed out. Laughing a little. He had the lithe little laugh of a supple young man who knew he had drafted not just a winning roster, but a December roster. 

Let's look at his choices in cohorts: 

Cohort 1: Rounds 1 - 4 - high floor, high upside
With Dez as his keeper and Le'Veon Bell as his first pick, Bradshark goes for explosive TD upside + expected high volume. Then his next two picks? High floor, high volume guarantee. TY Hilton ain't gonna buy you flowers or write you a love song, but he's sure as cow shit gonna get fed the ball. And Doug Baldwin? He ain't sexy and writing you a haiku in blood on a 150-year-old Japanes rose petal, but he's sure as cow shit gettin' fed that ball by Russ the Huss a lot.
 

Cohort 2: Rounds 5 - 8 - veteran locker room leaders, stout running, more TDs
He picks up two stout ponies in rounds 5 and 7 in Jonathan Stewart and Duke Johnson Jr. The robust bowling balls are just the kinds of guys he likes: established, thick through the trunk, difficult to take down in one go. In round 6, he goes with an absolute vet and absolute professional: Big Ben. Ben suffered on the road last year, but at home, he was his towering best, racking up sick yardage and going to town on visiting Ds. Then in Round 8, he turns his eye back to a Home Run Hitter in Tyler Eifert. It's risky, given Eifert's injury history, but the guy is a TD machine and potential week in, week out game winner. At this point, Bradshart has proven high floor toads plus enough firepower to be super relevant in December.  

Cohort 3: Rounds 9 - 12 - WR depth + the Ace in the Hole
Bradshart comes out swinging and takes another high volume WR in Emmanuelle Sanders in Round 9. He doubles down on more depth and volume in Willie Snead in Round 10, meaning that for his WR3, he can choose each week based on matchup + just how sexy he's feeling. In Round 11, he makes what I think even he would admit is one of his few mistakes - Charles Sims. Even then, Sims was in line to take Doug Martin's spot until he got injured himself, so at the time, it's not a bad move. The in Round 12, he takes the Ace in the Hole: Justin Tucker. I don't care what the fucking so-called "experts" say - that man won weeks last year for his teams, with his 50+ yard bombs. The move to reach up and get him in Round 12 raises eyebrows (not to mention a couple of Daisy Dukes), but works out for Bradshart when it matters: in December. 

Cohort 4: Rounds 13 - 15 - the second Ace in the Hole, this guy is holding a nice pair
Round 13, Bradshart takes the New England Defense, a nice pick for sure. But it's Round 14 when the guffaws truly start: Dak Prescott. Given the state of the Dallas O-Line, we all should've seen this coming a little bit more. But all kudos to Bradshart, who gives himself some nice backup QB upside with a pick that is otherwise a throwaway. Even Cole Beasley, who he picked up in Round 15, is high volume and a useful WR3 in many weeks of the 2016 season.

No one is saying he orchestrated, masterminded, and lined up the greatest draft in history as part of some genius plan. But there are some nuggets to pull out of this long-haired lothario's method behind his madness. A mix of high volume and high floor equaled better opportunity to succeed. A propensity to stick with his players throughout the season and give them a chance to improve was crucial (avoiding the temptation to discard Dak, for example, is a masterstroke). Making purposeful decisions away from hype and trend led to Bradshart drafting a team that could perform when it mattered most: in December. 

I will never forget watching that little long-haired toad on that thick, cold, beige leather couch in Jacksonville Beach. The way he sat, so gently, on that couch, long hair flicking back in the heavily wheezing air conditioning, sipping on that little can of Busch Lite, knowing that he had done the one thing he had to do: draft a team that could win: in December.